Horror Movie Review- Texas Chainsaw 3D

Okay, so recently a couple of friends and I sat through an approximate 92 minutes of what could have been a pretty admirable addition to the Texas Chainsaw franchise but what was instead a turned into a 92 minute crap fest and a disappointment to the natural horror movie system. Now to start off, I am pleased to say they left the “Massacre” out of the title which initially I assumed was their attempt at modernizing and revamping the original story but later I came to understand  that they literally took the massacre out of the story. Leatherface, the chainsaw- totting hickish murderer was meant to torture and brutally kill everything in sight, ya know meat hooking and chainsawing all the way but in this 3D venture it lacked dearly. I mean seriously he ran through a fracking Amusement Park and had the perfect chance to maim at least 30-50 people! I may sound like a sadist but we all don’t watch horror movies to get in touch with our sweeter sides. Bring on some gore! And speaking of horror movie gore forget about the CGI! It’s AWFUL. It may be cheaper but there are some things that are better left to cornstarch and red dye not to mention the things you can do with prosthetics and makeup these days, it’s brilliant. Maybe it’s just me but horror movies have lost their gusto, the writings not original, the effects for a lack of a better word are shit and the killers are less than terrifying. Hell, it makes the sweater in your closet seem much more extreme. Don’t even get me started on the new house for this film. YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH LIKE SEVEN DOORS TO GET TO LEATHERFACES ROOM! So much cut and dry horror movie gore chances wasted. Remember the days when  the unknowing victims creaking open the Hewitt family’s screen door and creeping across the wood flooring only to be caught completely off guard by the rev of a chainsaw and the ripping open of Leatherface’s metal sliding door at the end of the hall. It was intense and always left the audience shouting to the screen “DON’T GO THROUGH THAT DOOR!” And lastly the acting, people I think assume it is necessary to have really terrible acting in a horror flicks but in reality people TO TRULY BE SCARED OR ENJOY A MOVIE YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO BELIEVE THE ACTORS! You have to be able to relate to their fear and happiness etc. otherwise the system doesn’t work. Without all of that the allusion is ruined. Oh, and horror movie tip! You want people to take your movie seriously? Don’t use the phrase “Do your thing, CUZ!” There are not too many phrases more ridiculous than that or that add a whole tongue in cheek setting to a film. ANYWAYS. In short this movie LACKED gore, good writing, decent acting, and the right to call itself a decent horror flick. Not many films leave me just saying no.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s